Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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