Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
