Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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