I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
