i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
