My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
