He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize