I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
