We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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