I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
