I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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