Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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