You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
