the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
