Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
