i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
