I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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