Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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