Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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