there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
