I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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