you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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