This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
