she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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