You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
