I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
