im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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