wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
