i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The struggles of a small town man whore
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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