Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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