I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize