it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
