you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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