I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize