we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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