I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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