Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
