if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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