I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
