dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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