Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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