i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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