well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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