Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize