Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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