well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize