I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
