dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize