how hairy? two words: wookie tits
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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