i permit you to call me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
