PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize