toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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