We got so high we made milksteak
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
