hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
