i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
