I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
