His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
