The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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