margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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