you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
