Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
