the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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