This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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