I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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