I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize