I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
