i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
