I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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