well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
