So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
