He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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