so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I cut my penus on the lid.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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